I felt like I was running in circles at the beginning of my journey. Like I hadn’t done enough preparation before I jumped in head first. Which seemed ridiculous because I have dabbled in witchcraft since I was an angsty teen in the 90’s. I’ve even owned at least one pack of tarot cards at all times since then. But I’ve never studied it properly, never really did a deep dive into the learning. And now with the internet… there are just so many different things I want to try!
But, I didn’t know what to start with, or which subjects could (or should) build off of another subject’s learning. So I paused, swallowed my pride, and started watching YouTube videos and reading blogs and articles on “Tips for Beginner Witches.”
Most of them say just about the same thing, honestly, and the few outliers were talking about stuff I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole on May Day. One of my favorites was from HearthWitch on YouTube. Check it out here if you want to get the advice straight from her.
Pretty much what it all boils down to is:
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Know your basics… But what are the basics? Well, it’s a whole lot of stuff that’s common in pretty much every wellness community ever, and almost all things I absolutely suck at. In order that you should learn them (because one really does build off the other), here they are
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Meditation: I’ll be honest, I cringed every time I saw this. We all know what it is. We’ve had so many people recommend that we do it. I’ve been halfheartedly trying to learn to meditate properly for about the last decade at the advice of my doctors, with very limited success. But if needs must and all that… - Visualization: Just like it says on the tin. You’re imagining things in your head. Apparently people who think in words (like I do) and not in images, usually can’t do this. But a few of the different videos said that instead of visualizing something you could narrate a description of it in your head, and that it’ll be just as effective, so I’m going to give it a try.
- Centering & Grounding: I’ll admit, I’ve always glossed over this in the past when I dabbled, even though every book I’ve ever read on witchcraft insists this is one of the most important things. It just seemed like the boring busy work you’d get in school when the teacher was out and you had a sub. But… I’m determined to do it right this time, so it’s definitely past time to learn.
- Energy Sensing: This actually starts with the last one. You learn to sense your own energy when you’re learning to center and ground, and from there you can start sensing it around you. I’ve heard some people are naturals at this, and also that it’s usually highly developed in people that had a traumatic childhood – I might know a couple of people like this (I’ll keep you updated on if they actually are or not – I haven’t had the opportunity to ask yet). For me, I’m going to have to learn it.
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- Cross reference your sources! I’m sure it will shock everyone to learn that sometimes information available on the internet (or in books) is just plain wrong!
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Follow your instincts!
- Magic and spells are NOT set in stone. Be flexible. If you don’t have an herb, substitute something else – go with your gut instinct on what to use (I also read somewhere that working with the herbs that are natural in your area can give your magic a boost – but I’m still trying to get my knowledge base of local plants high enough to be able to try this fully).
- Find your own way through trial and error. Not all types of magic work well for all people – find what works best for you.
All those videos were helpful, but not… Follow my instincts? I’m already starting to question those… I mean they haven’t exactly kept me out of trouble. I have made many a questionable choice throughout my life. Not least of all thinking I would be happy marrying a man. But we aren’t going to talk ourselves out of walking this path, and we’re going to actually do it for real this time. So off I went to learn the basics.
Keep in mind, I started this journey on the Worm Moon. That was at the beginning of March. It’s now the beginning of May and I’m just barely feeling like I’m making progress.
I have massive ADHD brain. Do you remember that episode of Gilmore Girls where Lorali explains what’s going through her head at any given time? Well, monkey, monkey, underpants is definitely a big mood for me. The thoughts pinging around in my head are rapid, chaotic, and loud! I tried guided meditation, I tried reading about different techniques, I tried everything and anything I could think of. Then finally on one of my really bad pain days, I was high and decided to try meditating again since I was already relaxed…
Please Note: I use marijuana for pain management, it’s legal in my state, and I will not apologize for it or pretend that it isn’t part of my daily life. It works better for pain management than anything my doctors have ever prescribed. My use of marijuana is not a problem. Chronic Pain is my problem.
So I was super relaxed and happy as hell because if was the first time in about 3 days that I had allowed myself to get high enough to be completely pain free. I decided a random guided meditation that on found on YouTube was worth one more shot and WOW…
I finally fully reached the meditative state, or at least, I’d finally reached it when I was trying to. Because I realized that I have been able to get to the meditative state before, but it was what I always called hyper-focus. It’s happened before when I was painting, and frequently when I’m really focused in my writing. It’s the kind of hyperfocus where you put your pencil down, or close the keyboard and you realize five hours have passed. Then I started being able to remember other times I’ve gotten to that state – laying out on the lawn in the sunshine, in that bit of space between awake and asleep. It’s that warm, utterly relaxed feeling where you are completely detached from time, or anything that is going on outside your little project or relaxation bubble. That’s where I was trying to get to when I was meditating.
That realization was huge for me. It finally seemed obtainable now that I knew what I was looking for. There is truly something remarkable about that state. It’s where all my best writing happens. Where my favorite drawings and paintings have originated. And where I can remember being the happiest. And, I knew it was definitely an obtainable state, at least when I was high.
So I practiced, in both states, and then I practiced some more, and even more after that.
I was still at a standstill when I was sober, but I started making a little progress if I meditated while high. It got easier and easier to get there, but I was still relying on Guided Meditations to help me actually reach a meditative state.
I started meditating on why I couldn’t meditate while sober, or without help. And this is where the term Aphantasia came into play. I remembered from one of the intro videos I watched that someone had mentioned that some people can’t visualize things… Hi, it’s me, I’m that “some people.” I honestly didn’t know this wasn’t normal. When I close my eyes and try to visualize, it’s just black. I always thought I was doing it wrong. Turns out, I’m just built with non-standard options. So what is Aphantasia? Straight from the Cleveland Clinic’s (medically reviewed) definition:
Aphantasia is when you can’t create mental pictures to “see” things in your mind. It’s just a difference in how your brain works. People often don’t realize they have it. There’s no treatment for aphantasia — it’s not a disability or medical condition.
Turns out, most guided meditation depend on your ability to visualize, but there are some available if you include Aphantasia in your search. So I started using that.
Then, one of my oldest friends, suggested I look into meditating using sound and different vibrational frequencies. She said she’d used it a lot while she was recovering from a car accident a few years ago and it had really helped her meditate without the confines of guided meditation.
I’ll let you all know how that has been going in my next post, because it deserves a full post’s worth of attention on its own!
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